Sunday, December 21, 2008

A meek proposal

It's a good thing there are God fearing Christian conservatives in the US or there wouldn't be a death penalty. But if there were more, then perhaps executions wouldn't be done by lethal injections or electric chairs. These methods, "humane" as the bleeding hearts call them, are nearly painless. What sort of punishment is that for the things criminals have done!

What happened to a good old fashioned crucifixion? If someone has gone and broken God's commandments, and murdered or stolen, or blasphemed, or borne false witness, then give them a nail in each hand and one through their feet, and let them meet their maker up on a cross, just as the bible describes. And if they've committed a particularly horrible crime, then I say jab them with something sharp while they're up there. You'd have to put it on a stick to reach, of course, but nothing modern engineers couldn't solve I'm sure. And just so they know they are being punished we should take a link of barbed wire from a prison wall, and form it into a little circuit - a prison wall in miniature if you will - and press that onto their brow.

If it's good enough for the bible, then it's good enough for America.

No comments: